Question 1 isn't really about letting violent men stalk and rape women

I'm a software architect with over twenty years of experience developing enterprise software, with many years in the financial sector and several researching malicious software. This is a ridiculous argument that a single standard is less safe and is patently false. You're talking about security by obscurity which is seldom a good strategy.

Most of the world runs on common standards, if you log into a website or pay with a credit card, use an atm etc. you're relying on a common standard. The mass adoption and openness is exactly why these standards are safer. When you have a group of 5 engineers writing proprietary software against thousands of malicious actors trying find flaws in it they're vastly outnumbered. An open and common standard levels that playing field as thousands of experts review and address flaws on a continuous basis. There is an incentive for everyone to find and fix flaws.

In a closed system you risk a company ignoring a fix to a known flaw due to the cost of implementation and patching it. Other times they don't want the bad PR that comes with acknowledging it in the first place. This is why we see so many data leaks uncovered by third parties, in many cases the companies knew about them for months but did nothing.

That's assuming the people at these car companies are concerned with or care about security in the first place. In the many many years I've spent working in the industry I can assure you this most product owners don't want to spend time on fixing security and tech debt at the cost of time lines shifting. There is constant and enormous pressure to cut corners. I can promise you That Ford or GM aren't going to delay the launch of thier new car because they're waiting on the software team to fix all their bugs.

Picture in this scenario government as a body with arms and legs. It is simply pushing its arms open to keep space open for you and keep companies from encroaching on your rights.

I get the disdain for government control but in this case "government force in the transaction" is an emotional distortion.

don't you think that a company's ability to control your use/repair of a product should end when they sell it to you?

without fully understanding the issue, which is that car manufacturers are using a LOOPHOLE in the existing law to get around it, that being wireless information transfer and an app one must use to get that wirelessly transmitted information. The eight year old law you cite only deals with OBDII compliant vehicles that extract codes with a WIRED DEVICE you PLUG into the car under the dash. Since then companies have come up with this wireless bullshit and hold the keys to the apps to get that information.
If people are worried about getting their cars wirelessly hacked they should seek to BAN that technology altogether. There is absolutely no reason for it, other than skirting the current right-to-repair laws. To retrieve ANY info from a vehicle you SHOULD need access to the inside of the vehicle, meaning the keys from the owner whose property the vehicle is. The entire argument over the wireless transmission of this information is a problem created by manufacturers hell bent on keeping you at their mercy until the car is over 10 years old.
So NOT changing the exiting laws means all cars newer than say 2013 will be particularly hard to find an honest place to repair it at (hint: NO car dealership on the face of the planet operates honestly).

I have no skin in this game since the newest car I have ever owned was a 1997 model. Modern cars are rubbish. For all the advanced tech they offer, all the "safety" features and cameras and self-braking and lane assistance....aka making humans LAZIER and less aware of their surroundings...they cost a fortune to fix when some un-necessary system failure makes the entire thing inoperable or unable to get a safety inspection sticker.

On a much simpler base level a YES vote helps small independent business and a NO vote helps big corporations with trade groups and lobbyists paying for scare-mongering ads about rape and stalking when we are talking about NOX emissions readings from a fucking vehicle CPU.
The choice is pretty clear if you're not a capitalist bootlicker.