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Citizen complaint of the day: Is that a traffic sign on your pole or are you just glad to see me?

A not offended citizen filed a 311 complaint about "a massive cock," of the rubber sort, suction-cupped to a traffic sign at H and Emerson streets in South Boston this afternoon, along with a photo showing "Happy New Year!" written on one side of the shaft. The filer checked "not offensive" on the complaint form.

Note: The city removed the original complaint from the 311 system, but, of course, nothing on the Internet never dies; see below for the original complaint.

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Image icon If you want to see it ...263.96 KB
Image icon See the original complaint41.81 KB

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Comments

the Irish curse.

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Voting closed 23

Definitely not a cursed Irishman. Probably black Irish!

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As a proud Irish American from a large family of 7 kids, I can tell you that there are showers and growers in the Irish American community. Either way, the results are effective. The Irish Curse is largely a myth.

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I think this is more Dirk Diggler, given the skin tone.

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but my endowment is above average.

Then again, I have English, Spanish (great grandfather), and even a Polish Jewish ancestor.

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for nothin'.

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Voting closed 31

Ok.... I have to admit, that’s pretty funny.

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I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It's detachable...

https://youtu.be/byDiILrNbM4

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Voting closed 44

This is not funny

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Counterpoint: Yes it is.

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Voting closed 80

No. It’s not.

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...it is

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Voting closed 22

Nah ah.

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But otherwise it's an A+

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Voting closed 13

This is contradiction!

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IMAGE(https://media.giphy.com/media/QU4ewgcmdcsObx9CG7/giphy.gif)

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You're right...it's actually hysterical. I would have laughed so hard (pun intended?) if I had seen that. Probably would have taken a selfie with it.

Before the "WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN" crowd...if you see it w/ your kid you explain what it is - you don't ignore it, rush them away or make it dirty. It's a body part. Let's make America not so sexually repressed.

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"Papa, that sign has a penis!"
"Haha, yep."
"Why?"
"Maybe someone thought it was funny."
"hahahaha"

and then they would get distracted by a squirrel or something.

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♫ Penis on a street sign, I know
I know it's serious
Penis on a street sign, I know
I know it's really serious. ♫

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I would rather not go
Back down to Southie
I would rather not go
Back down to Southie
There's too many big dildos
Too many dildos there

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Voting closed 11

Seems silly to file a 311 complaint and ask the city to schedule a maintenance worker to take care of this. This person wasted more time taking a picture than if they had just grabbed a stick, knocked the dang thing down, and threw it in the trash barrel. This is YOUR neighborhood! Have some pride and take care of this stuff on your own and we will all have a nicer city to live in.

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You don't know where that thing's been.

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Oh I think we do know where it's been.

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Voting closed 11

Lighten up Francis!

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and the maintenance worker wouldn't have a funny story to tell (to say nothing of missing out on a great hood ornament.)

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Sometimes in life, someone take the silly route and we're all richer for it.

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Voting closed 11

Leave it to the professionals.

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You could even handle it with bare hands as long as you washed your hands well afterwards.

They're not, like... sharp or anything.

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Vaginal discharge, fecal matter, semen, blood...

It's like holding a strap on the MBTA minus the snot...

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But I ride the MBTA all the time and have yet to encounter anyone holding a strapon.

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but it's not like you need a professional to deal with it.

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The ppl who show up from public works “I’m not fucking touching that thing”

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Voting closed 10

The rubber appendage seems to be violating the directive of the sign to which it is attached.

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Peyronie's Disease can be painful, I've heard.

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Impressive, but not massive. :)

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Not art.

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Oooh. Now that's a proud boy!

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I clicked on the link to the report to see if it had been resolved. Status is "Report not available"

I hope someone saved a screenshot.

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It's now attached to the original post above as "original complaint."

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Looks like the city's taken down the 311 complaint about the rubber item.

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Only items made here using locally sourced materials are properly covered by that term. Otherwise it's properly termed a generic "phalloid sex toy"

IMAGE(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/f2/DildoNewfoundland.jpg)

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the yard sale.

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outside the Dildo Appellation d’Origine Contrôlée is "sparkling marital aids."

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"Sparking self-care items".

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Universal Chub

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I needed my laugh for the day.

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