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Citizen complaint of the day: Naked man in the window doesn't meet my attractiveness standards

Update: 311 says this isn't a 311 matter; you should call police.

A discerning citizen files a 311 complaint about a man on the other side of a window on West Broadway in South Boston:

Each day, there's a naked man who stands in the window of the condo building, facing the Broadway Bridge. He's there all the time. I don't know if this is illegal, but he's not a very attractive man. I recommend that he be given a good leaving alone.

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Comments

Without looking any further into this, I will follow this advice.

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This reads to me

"I'm OK with naked people in a window, as long as they are attractive"

Honey, let me pour you a cup of Sanka so you can smell the coffee. Usually, the people who aren't attractive are the ones who show off the most!

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38

It's called the Murphy's Law of Public Nudity. The only people who get naked in public are people that no one wants to see naked. Go to SF's Bay to Breakers 'road race' and you'll 'see' (ugh).

let me pour you a cup of Sanka so you can smell the coffee.

You sneaky bitch. This is the first time I got a real chuckle out of your posts.

Captcha: PHAQLY

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12

Ugly Naked Guy has a naked friend...it's Naked Ross!

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"Every day there is this person on the Broadway Bridge with binoculars. I'm not sure about this, but it seems like they are pointing them at the windows of the condo building that I live in ..."

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71

or does anyone else think Insufficiently-Attractive Naked Man™ submitted this complaint himself in order to get more spectators?

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33

If there's one neighborhood where people regularly browse 311 complaints and might use it to garner attention, it's South Boston (see the ongoing 311 warover dogs at Medal of Honor Park).

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.... people’s windows, if you’d rather not see people who don’t meet up with your standards of beauty.

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39

Now THERE'S a phrase for ya. Who talks like that? People who clutch pearls about unattractive naked people I suppose.

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Good Leavin' Alone
Recorded by Hank Williams Jr.
Written by Ronnie Self

C G7
“I'm gonna give her a good a leavin' alone
C
She thinks I'm a wantin' her to come back home
C7 F
She thinks I've been cryin' since she's been gone
G7 C
Well I'm a gonna give her a good leavin' alone

G7
I'm gonna give her a good forgettin' about
C
And all of my dreams she's a gonna be left out
C7 F
I'm gonna let her keep her heart of stone
G7 C
And I'm gonna give her a good leavin' alone

F C
She thinks I need what we all studied in biology
D7
But I'm gettin' smart and I'm a gonna use
G7
A little reverse psychology

C G7
I'm gonna give her a good leavin' alone
C
I ain't her dog and I ain't gonna beg for a bone
C7 F
She's got a heart as warm as an ice cream cone
G7 C
Well I'm a gonna give her a good leavin' alone

Repeat #3,4

G7 C
Yeah I'm a gonna give her a good leavin' alone”

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I recommend that he be given a good leaving alone.

"...ok. We'll leave him alone. Why did you file this report again?"

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38

O noes, he accidentally posted his naked reflection in the kettle he was selling on eBay, too.

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Reminds me a little of the old joke about the old(ish) lady who summoned police to her home to file a complaint about young men diving and swimming nude in the river that passed her property.
"Degrading and scandalous that a respectable woman such as myself, in my own home, should be subject to such brazen and vulgar behavior!" etc....
When the police officer commented that it strained belief - with the river bank a quarter-mile distant and some trees & uneven terrain between - that she could see the young men at all (let alone anything in sufficient detail to offend her), she replied

"With the telescope I keep on the 3rd floor balcony, I can see every detail!"

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34

There’s few things more liberating than not giving a frig who sees you butt neked

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And he is still doing it? You don’t need binoculars to see him, if you just look out of the side car window, like my kids do, you can’t miss him. It’s one of those all-glass buildings right next to the road and the dude stands naked pressed against the full window. He is practically illuminated by the sun. I guess he finally got his wish to be noticed by everyone.

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I just discovered those condos are going for $700-800/sq.ft. (Assuming this is 14 West we're talking about). If I'm paying that kind of money for the majestic view of the Broadway T stop and the squeals of the train yard, you can all suck on the sight of my balls every morning too.

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No sign of him this day...

https://goo.gl/maps/fGzrGCDtf2ijtzRM9

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The condos were complete by late 2018 and there are several photos to choose from.

Thanks for my laugh of the day.

Close your blinds/curtains. Stop looking. It's really easy.

If you can note that he's there every day that means SO ARE YOU! Looking at him. Peeping Tometta!

If it's that big an issue go ahead and call BPD. I'd love to be a fly on the wall.

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But close enough that we can judge for ourselves if he needs "leaving alone"

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Once again, the best laughs of the day come from U/Hub stories and comments. Boston would be a much sadder place without U/Hub.

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21

Intact men take longer to dry when they step out of the shower, so for the anti-circ's in the house, expect more of this...

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I don't know if this is illegal, but he's not a very attractive man.

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13

Maybe the person's eyes aren't too good and they think they're standing in front of a mirror?
Maybe the person's brain isn't too good and they think the reason that they see other people moving around in their mirror is that it's one of those borderline-creepy peloton groups.

Can you explain please?

borderline-creepy peloton groups

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10

"people wearing clothes I wouldn't wear and doing things I wouldn't do must have something wrong with them!"

I had seen commercials for these new web-enabled exercise mirrors. Get online, with your trainer, with your class, heck - have your kids jumping up and down beside you in their pajamas. Interact with everybody.
I realize that it's partly paranoia on my part, and really no different than a video screen on a treadmill or stationary bike (or putting your smartphone on a stand on one of these), but...
A year of Zoom and other video-conference platforms, watching etiquette (or lack thereof) and all sorts of boundary problems...
A treadmill or stationary bike seems more particularly turned-off...
A smart phone, you turn off the app...
-
This... I saw the ads, and I'm like "Why would I give people a window into my home?". Why would I have my children with my workout class? Would I ever feel secure that the damn camera was really turned off?
-
I did a quick search now. Found MIRROR and maybe one or two other products or videos, but nothing with the Peloton name, so maybe I was mistaken on that part.

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That’s Magoo in the window. Magoo has been outed. Magoo is so hot. Magoo

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In another century I worked in a 20 story building across the street from a Hilton. The elevator lobby had a window that looked directly to the hotel's rooms. Many staff were standing at the window (apparently on several floors). Why? A man (pretty attractive from what I could see) was dancing around his room entertaining the audience across the street. All details included I figured he was a dancer in a nearby Broadway road show.

The secretaries and attorneys of the white shoe law firm were quite amused.

(N.b., there is an adv. for Pence who has a "Clear Path Forward. He is one fellow whose nakedness would probably turn others to stone.)

A new hotel was created opposite my office windows.

In the year before we all left for home, a new phenomenon emerged; The "NAKED GUY/NAKED WOMAN" shout.

Because there will always be exhibitionists staying in hotels performing for the public in the office cubes across the way.

We were even developing a location code when the plague hit.