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The next battleground in the war on terror: Somerville?

Somerville: Nexus of terrorism?

The banner atop a Somerville News story.

The Somerville News Weekly reports on an apparent plot by at least one middle-school kid to buy guns and festoons its story with the above banner that relocates Somerville to somewhere in Europe. The Somerville Times posts a copy of a School Department alert that denies there's a terror threat in the city. The News retorts by charging the school superintendent has some "Gaul" to deny an impending massacre threat (yes, "Gaul").

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That explains the graphic.

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Is it perhaps divided into three parts?

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Mary-in-the-Bathtub 'Ville, Robot/Maker/Brewer 'Ville, & Restaurant 'Ville

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Paved-front-and-back-yard-ville

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from the Iron Age? Or is the Stone Age?

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Did they seriously call someone a douchenozzle for disagreeing with them? The GAUL!

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Yes, heard the secretary on the phone today with her husband, warning him to not let their children know about the plot because they'd get scared, but that she wasn't too worry, at least about one of their kids, because she could "pass" for a non-white person.

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voting for John Kasich. He speaks his mind, isn't afraid to say the things we are all thinking, isn't beholden to moneyed interests. Like that other guy, but not a pumpkin-toned arsenic marshmallow.*

* H/t, Gawker.

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"WHAT WHAT WHAT, THE HELL IS GOING ON, WHO ARE THESE KIDS, GET THEM AND THROW THEM IN JAIL RIGHT AWAY,, BEFORE ITS TO LATE , MY GOD, MY GOD…"

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"Surely you can't be serious!"
"I am serious. And stop calling me Shirley."

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a la The Onion, it failed. If it's intended to mock white people, including white middle school students, I would ask: Why does the author have the need to do this? I understand we're talking about Somerville/Cambridge, which is a favored area for the more goofy and 'radical' (usually academically based) among our population, so it's par for the course, but still...

And if the white children were substituted with children 'of color', there would be uproar, and be used as an example of endemic racism against people 'of color', and to ferment faux outrage.

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No, the problem is not white people or parents or white parents. The problem is that the Somerville News blew a police problem into an Existential National Security Threat to the Very Fabric of Our Society.

Maybe guns are so rare in Mayberry, um, Somerville that they crank their terror-o-meters up to 11 instantly, but here in Boston, where, unfortunately, there are any number of incidents involving kids with guns and kids with guns in schools, we realize that while this is serious business and an awful thing, it doesn't rise to the level of OMG ISIS Is Here Get Donald Trump on the Phone levels of hysteria.

Also? If you are going to scream TERROR THREAT, wouldn't it behoove you to center the bullseye on, oh, I don't know, Davis Square instead of Dusseldorf?

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And I just did a Google reverse image search for this image and no dupes came up, so this isn't something they just cut-and-pasted from some major news website. Someone actually made this graphic for this story.

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#WhiteFragility

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Perhaps they meant that Asterix is the superintendent's new public relations person?

IMAGE(https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1480789988/asterix18_5B3_5D.jpg)

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This paragraph deserves an F.

Today after this article broke, the administration has gather their troops in a huddle and are circling their wagons around to cover their behinds due to the fact that they did not report the incident when it happened regarding the story.

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