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Dude really needed wings

Suspect in Red Bull theft

Peabody Police report they are looking for a guy who shoplifted $400 worth of Red Bull from the local Hannaford supermarket on Monday.

Suspect appears to be wearing a blue jacket with COACH on one side and DANVERS BASBALL on the other.

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Comments

In one word - pathetic

and yes Adam, I realize you didn't write that - but still.

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So u can confirm that it's true? Kinda hard to tell bro

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...right up there with Allegedly and all the eggshell tiptoe-ing terms they need to use.

My problem is that either the police, or someone in the garment industry can't spell 'baseball.'

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But it still sounds so idiotic.

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We are dealing with a master criminal, because no one would be so stupid as to be a coach of a Danvers baseball team and go out and steal Red Bull wearing a jacket identifying one as a Danvers-based baseball coach. No doubt he wore the jacket to throw everyone off the scent. So, we must deduce: what is the opposite of coach? Why, a player of course. And what would be the opposite of Danvers? Why, someone from Gloucester, of course. Look for a Gloucester baseball player, he's your man. He will be the overly energetic one.

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a former Danvers baseball coach. As for your "mastermind" observation:

But who said criminals were smart?

quote is from the Taking Of Pelham One Two Three (1974 version)

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And I'm not surprised you recommended it.

Does your Netflix queue look something like this:

Pelham
Runaway Train
Murder on the Orient Express
Some Like It Hot
...

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(Or Redbox for that matter). But all the movies you mentioned are indeed on my favorites list - although Runaway Train and Murder On The Orient Express are further down than two and three.

For the record, my top five favorite movies (not in any particular order) are:

Taking of Pelham One Two Three (1974 version)
Vanishing Point (1972 version)
It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World
The Train
Von Ryan's Express

Not among my "must watch" favorites list, but I admit I also enjoy the Dirty Harry series, and am a sucker for 1970s campy disaster movies like the Airport series and The Towering Inferno.

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... that almost entirely took place on a train -- Satyajit Ray's Nayak (The Hero) -- about a (one-time) screen idol traveling from Calcutta to New Delhi. Very interesting film (in a low key fashion).

Also involving a train trip in India 00 Wes Anderson's quirky (but enjoyable -- to me) Darjeeling Limited.

Coming soon -- a science fiction film called Snowpiercer, about a never ending train journey on a supertrain in a world of permanent (extreme) winter.

An oldie but goodie, Preston Sturges's Plam Beach Story has an absolutely hysterical, long section involving a train journey *NY to Palm Beach, I think). Oldie, but not so goodie (to me) , Howard Hawks's "On the Twentieth Century".

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There was a low-level crime family operative in Providence about 30 years ago, who earned the sobriquet "The Idiot" for two particularly impressive displays of intelligence:

  1. Robbing a bank while wearing his uniform (he worked in a gas station), that had his name embroidered above the pocket, and,
  2. While the police were busy investigating a murder, elbowing his way through the crowd, ducking the yellow tape, and spitting on the corpse.
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You'd be astonished at the number of "Staff"-style shirts I've seen in Goodwill and other thrift stores.

A friend of mine has a thrifted T driver's t-shirt. I've found ones for camps, schools, gyms, the US Postal Service, etc. If you were a nefarious person and not just looking for a funky shirt, you could impersonate an employee and cause serious trouble.

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$400 is about eight or nine cases (thanks google shopping)!

How, exactly, does someone shoplift this much merchandise without someone noticing and stopping them?

This guy needs to be punished for theft, of course, but perhaps Hannaford needs to encourage their staff to take a sip or two of RB themselves in order to stay awake!

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I think eight or nine cases would fit into a shopping cart, no? Then wheel it right out the door.

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I've heard that most stores tell their employees to NOT go after shoplifters. Indeed, I was once in a pharmacy where someone walked out the door with a basketful of stuff and not one employee stopped that person. It's because the store thinks it's less money to cover the loss of that merch than it is to cover the medical expenses and potential liability of an employee who gets hurt in the parking lot while in hot pursuit.

I agree. I'm betting that guy just walked out the door.

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this subject lives in a van down by the river.

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